Sometimes we carry a sense of entitlement that makes us believe that other people owe us, that they are somehow responsible for our happiness. If we are sad, they need to give us their support. If we are lonely, they should keep us company. If we are in a relationship, our mates are supposed to protect us from pain. They should be sorry when we are mad and attentive when we are sad. They should promise that no matter what happens, they would never hurt us. These are impossible expectations. Although it is normal and self- respecting to want others to take care of yourself. If you are in a situation in which you are not being treated with respect, it is up to you to remove yourself from that situation. You may have had a friend who constantly complains about the way her boyfriend treats her and things. The first time, you feel awful for her. The second time, you hold her hand and agree that the guy is a jerk. But after listening to her complaints again and again, the question inevitably becomes, "How much of this are you going to take before you stand up for yourself?" yeah.. there is a fine line between being taken advantage of and letting yourself being taken of.You have to be honest with yourself about your circumstances. You have to face things that you might rather ignore. For instance, you may have a friend who turns out to be selfish and deceitful. Sadly, it becomes your responsibility to end the friendship if your attempts at working things out are unsuccessful. Unrealistic expectations always end up hurting you. The more you believe others owe you, the sadder you are when they don't deliver. The 'If he loved me, he would do this and he wouldn't do that' game is a setup for heartache. If you are able to say to yourself, "IT is MY JOB to be happy""IT is MY JOB to take care of myself, to be healthy, and to give myself the things I need" - Then you are owning your power to be happy or not. You can't make rules in relationships to ensure that you will never get hurt. You can't leave it up to someone else to make sure that you are happy. If you do, you will consequently end up to be disappointed and sometimes even brokenhearted. BUT you can take responsibility for your own happiness. You can be sure that you don't always end up in the position of victim. You do this by acknowledging whose job it is to take care of you - YOURS! You do this by putting yourself in situations that are healthy, with people who are good to you and who understand friendship and commitment. When you find yourself unhappy, you should look at your circumstances and figure out what you can do to change them. These are what it means to take responsibility for your own happiness, and these are ways you can begin showing yourself the LOVE you deserved.
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